Starving for Genuine Connection?
Recently, I realized that a half-baked sort of connecting was happening in almost every area of my life. So the other day as I parked my car to walk up to my Groundlings Improv class, I saw three guys standing on the opposite side of the street. Normally, I would have stayed on my side of the street, but I decided to cross over and say hello as I passed by. It was broad daylight so I felt safe.
Anyway, as I was walking toward the guys, it happened that just before I reached them, they turned to walk in the same direction. I was now walking behind them. I watched as one of the guys did some sort of dance, clowning around with his friends, and I laughed. He turned to see me laughing and he laughed. They stopped walking and asked me if I had heard of some new dance craze that two basketball players started. Nope.
They pulled examples of the dance up on their phones and showed it to me. We laughed, exchanged names and chatted for a bit. They offered me a puff of weed, which I regretfully declined, and I walked on towards my class. The entire exchange lasted about five minutes. I’ll never see them again. As I continued to my class a feeling of nourishment and well-being blew through my bones and I realized that I had just genuinely connected with three Armenian guys about nothing at all really. We all said yes to the moment and we said yes to let it pass without it having to mean much of anything.
What was the last juicy, genuine, connection you had?
I use to have an unconscious thought that if you connect with someone in a deep endearing way (outside of your family, close friends and in my case the opposite sex) it might mean you end up in a relationship with him or her; usually physical. So at times, I’ve unknowingly starved myself out of opportunities to connect by participating in semi-connected conversations, lazy hugs or even worse, cold, stiff, hand shakes. My unconscious and sometimes conscious unwillingness to connect was leaving me with a feeling of Blah numbness. But since I’ve been making an honest effort, the fog has lifted.
So I say, don’t waist time. Don’t waist opportunities to connect with people and the world around you. When you talk to people, actually talk to them. When you hug them, hug them damn it. It doesn’t have to mean anything. It doesn’t have to linger. Look them in their eyes; listen to their pauses, their stops and starts, the nuances that make up their cadence. Did you notice how the sunlight hit the highlights in their hair? What about the way his hunter green jacket matched his argyle sweater? Did you let your heart open when she talked about her little cousin’s first steps?
Just because you share a deep endearing connection with someone doesn’t mean you’re going to consummate or be in a lifelong relationship with them. But for that moment, we’re doing one of the most important things we came to the planet to do, be in each others vibratory field.
When we’re connecting, there is no denying the present moment; the illusion of time and space has been lifted and the veil of separation has been ripped from our eyes. Some people wait until they’re in a romantic relationship to have deep level connections, but I feel they’re missing the whole point of life. The other person might need the connection more than you know.
Connect now. Connect always, with everything, with everyone. Connect.