Waiting in the Rain

Sometimes we just have to wait. If you’re a busy body like me then the in between moments can cause great anxiety. It might feel like nothing is happening, like you’re doing all you know to do and still there are blank spaces, e-mails full of spam, and a bank account that always seems to stay at barely enough. Then of course the doubt finds you sitting on the couch looking out of the window and begins to encourage you to give up and settle in. And then the rain starts…

One tiny pellet and then two and before you know it, it’s racing down your face and into your heart. It use to be that when the rainy days came, I would distract myself with TV or a book, maybe some food or hot coco, something to make me feel all cozy inside, but now I just sit. I sit in the rain like a child and let it wash through me. I ask it to cleanse me and tell me what it wants me to know. Why is it here, again? Unsolicited…nothing happened. It just started raining.

Well, it appears that nothing happened, but maybe it did. Maybe I realized somewhere in the back of my heart that amidst all the hustling and striving, going, and positioning, there are those “in betweens” that only God can fill. Which if you know anything about God’s timing, you know that it’s nowhere near what you were expecting. And that can be scary, because one year can turn into, five and five can turn into fifteen and fifteen into twenty in the blink of an eye. Scary. It’s interesting when we remember that we’re not fully in control…we forget…the rain comes and then we remember again…

So for now, I’m just gonna sit. No rain hat. No umbrella. No bright ideas. No end in sight. When the sun comes back out, I’ll let you know…the sun always comes back out.